That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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