It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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