My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
