It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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