I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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