You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
