On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
