Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
