so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
