Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
