We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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