dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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