farters have to be the big spoon...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
