I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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