So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
