Small penises have feelings too.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
