My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
