ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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