Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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