I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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