you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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