Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
