I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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