go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
