So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
