She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am one with the molecules
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
