The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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