how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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