Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
