Four minutes until I can fart!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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