i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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