he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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