I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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