hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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