I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
