Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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