i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
