I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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