he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
either way he was missing a nipple.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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