Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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