Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
