A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
