Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think people are normalizing furries
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