I just threw up on my dentist
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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