jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
