Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
