you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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