Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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