You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
