just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
