Tell her she can't have a vagina
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
