Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
