She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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