Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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